---- Those shoes you wear? Not actually shoes; they're slippers.
---- You sir? Are married to the world and it's causing problems. It's time to file divorce papers.
---- You are no longer attractive to me. Let's go ahead and deflate that ego now, shall we?
---- We have a co-dependant relationship, but it's ok. I like to be needed.
--- Stop feeling sorry for yourself. There are a lot of people who have it much worse than you. Put on your adult hat and quit your whining.
--- Contrary to popular your belief, it's not all about you. There are other people on this planet. You can pick your jaw up on the floor now; I know it's a harsh reality but you'll be ok.
--- You ruined a lot of lives but somehow you're the one for whom I feel sorry.
--- The color yellow? Not so much your friend.
--- You need a shirt that says "Open Mouth, Insert Foot" because it's apparently kind of like your life motto.
--- I might have feelings for you.
--- The hairbrush is your friend. Use it.
Love you and miss you!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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